Lord knows I’m not a health food addict. My idea of health food is a McDonald’s Quarter Pounder without cheese. In fact, I’m getting hungry right now. Nope, stay focused, McGee. Keep writing.

Even though I am not a food authority, I DO know that fruit is fruit, candy is candy, and there are at least several levels of separation between the two on the Healthy Food Index. I say all of this as a preamble to a revelation that even I could not have predicted. It happened just the other day, when my wife Joan and I joined her sister Lyn and husband Richard for a movie at one of those new Luxury Theaters. You may have heard of them: reserved seating, every person gets his/her own leather recliner, and best of all, they sell beer and wine! You can buy a glass of wine or a whole bottle. Okay, I’ll take the bottle.

Lyn and I were the only two drinking wine at 12:45 in the afternoon, but why not? How often can you sit in a state of the art theatre and drink wine? Totally cool. Anyway, there we were, savoring a really excellent Santa Barbara Pinot Noir from Sea Glass Winery (2012, I think, but it was pretty dark in the theatre). This is the type of Pinot Noir that makes you want to try other Pinots; fruity, just complex enough to make you think, and really, really drinkable. Bravo, Sea Glass! I was just settling in to the previews when Joan tapped my shoulder and said, “Here you go sweetie – your favorite.” She had brought me a package of Red Vines! I really do love them, and I can offer absolutely no reason why. They have nothing to do with nutrition or any known organic food (although they proudly proclaim “No Preservatives – Always Fat-Free” on the wrapper). They have nothing to do with the fruits I actually like; even though I like strawberries, they are about as close to strawberries as Circus Peanuts are to bananas. But, I couldn’t be rude to the mother of my children, so I thanked her and took them. Hmmm…. Pinot Noir and Red Vines; not a chance. Meanwhile, the movie started. It was the latest Captain America flick, and it was really well done in every way. Captivating. I toasted Lyn with my Pinot, savored it, let my whole mouth enjoy the grape. Swallow. Red Vine. Good movie. More Red Vine. Swig of Pinot. Great movie. Pinot, Red Vine, fun action movie, gulp of Pinot, WAIT!! This is impossible! Half of the Red Vines are gone, I’m on my second glass of Sea Glass, and there is no puckering of the lips, no tears of astringent agony, nothing! This time, I focus on the wine, drink, then the Red Vine. Nothing. Total harmony. Not Possible. Again, and this time concentrate! Wine, Red Vine, and…, and… . OMG, I’m in low budget junk food heaven!

In all, it was a perfect afternoon, and the accidental marriage of this fine Pinot and good ol’ Red Vines just goes to show that no matter how much you think you know about food, wine, or Marvel Comic heroes, we can all be occasionally surprised. Just like our friend Captain America, but that’s another story. Go see the movie. If you already like Red Vines, try the combo. Don’t overanalyze – just go with it.

IMPORTANT POSTCRIPT!

A few days later, one of my other sisters-in-law, Barbara, asked me “Do you think that the Pinot Noir will work with Twizzlers?” I decided to do a taste-off, right then and there. I went to three neighborhood wine stores, and none had the Sea Glass Pinot Noir that I had tried at the theatre. So, I picked another Pinot from the Santa Barbara region, also medium priced ($18), and bought both Red Vines and Strawberry Twizzlers. The Red Pony Ranch 2012 Pinot Noir was very good with a satisfying nose, and a smooth, fruity character. Did it work? Well, yes, with some qualifications. Red Vines, believe it or not, have a fairly subtle flavor, and I believe that was one of the reasons it could be consumed with wine. Twizzlers have a more aggressive flavor and smell. You can tell as soon as you open the package; the nostrils are assaulted. It does not work quite as well with the Pinot as the Red Vines did because it simply overwhelms the wine. However, you can certainly eat the combination, and if that seems difficult to “swallow,” think about that Captain America movie. If HE had been offered the Pinot Noir/Red Licorice feast after being unconscious for 70 years, he would definitely not complain. In his case, the ensemble would be regarded as food of the gods. It’s all a matter of perspective.