Month: March 2014

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Girl Scout cookies- Very confusing!

You have been there.  We all buy them, those wonderful Girl Scout cookies from those adorable Girl Scouts. So they (the cookies, not the Girl Scouts) are sitting in the pantry, but when it actually comes time to eat them and you also want a glass of wine,  the trouble begins. Last night while watching the movie Gravity, I had some difficult decisions to make that made Sandra Bullock’s predicament seem almost comical by comparison.  Sure, she is about to simultaneously suffocate and explode in orbital blackness and microgravity, but as I sit with my glass of  2011 Estancia Central Coast Merlot, should I really try the Girl Scout Peanut Butter Sandwich cookies sitting on the end table next to me, or should I lunge for the Thin Mints that my wife Joan is worrying over like a lioness with her freshly killed gazelle.  That, my friends, is a tough choice.

EstanciaWine

Short answer, eat them all.  The sweetness of the peanut butter cookies works against the wine, but if you focus your palate on the nuttiness of the confection, suddenly it works!  In fact, it works much better than it should.  Maybe the grapes serve as the fruit in a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, only with more oak, tannins, etc.  Whatever.

Now for the mints.  I love the Thin Mint cookies, and at first I thought they beat the Peanut Butter Sandwich cookies as a pairing, but in further analysis, the mint flavor competed with the soft Estancia Merlot (which is really good, by the way) too much.  I wanted the Thin Mints to win because I like them so much, but to be fair, I have to give this one to the nuttiness of the sandwich cookies.  No matter though – Joan and I ate both boxes!  Problem solved.

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The Wine and Junk Food Lover’s Survival Guide

I am a wine lover.  I also like junk food.  If you are like me, this blog is for you.  I was raised in a normal, loving home, with plenty of cans of Dinty Moore beef stew and boxed dinners.  I never minded – I loved that stuff!

As I mentioned, I’m a wine lover but don’t always “get” what I read in the wine reviews. I think I know what “forward” means, but I’ve never tasted a wine that made me think “forward.”  I guess that means brash and undisciplined, but then I would be describing my children, not my drink.  Also, I’ve never contemplated my mid-palate, nor have I depended on that organ for a decision about anything.

I’m a person of moderate means, moderate tastes, moderate sense of smell, and moderate intelligence (I hope).  I read most wine reviews and come away feeling completely inferior. After drinking the same wine as the reviewer,  I realize that I had missed the notes of cream de cassis, tobacco, and leather, along with the essences of the terroir, the blackberry, the licorice, the currant, and the dirt.  At the end of it all, I was so insecure that I could only definitively say that it was red.

However, I am still a big wine fan. I actually can tell the difference between a decent Merlot, Cabernet Sauvignon, Zinfandel, and Pinot Noir.  I look forward to the surprise in every new bottle, every new vintage, every variety, and every label.  But let’s get back to the “moderate means” part of the story. How many of you have ever gotten hungry and/or thirsty late at night, thinking about a glass of wine and a snack, and looked in your pantry, only to find Fritos and Oreos to go with your Merlot. Which snack will it be?  Your average sommelier will be useless for advice on this thorny issue, and besides, it’s late. You are truly on your own… .

The purpose of this blog is to help you make the right gastronomical choice of which wine and which junk food to enjoy together.  The wines I mention will range from cheap to moderate, which means roughly from $6-$25 per bottle.  The junk food will be the kind of thing that lasts in the pantry for a long time.  That way, those Chips Ahoy cookies might easily be the one tasty food that’s been left in your pantry after all of the really lofty, expensive delights have already been eaten.

I’m not going to waste your time by trying to describe it every grape varietal to you.  You can Google that. Who knows why you might’ve purchased the wines that are sitting in your house right now. Perhaps they were on sale. Maybe you bought them for your brother-in-law’s last visit.  Or, you might have some definitive tastes that lead you in a particular direction. Whatever the case, the decision still remains: what junkfood pairs best with which wine that might be in your house at any particular moment?  Helping you make the right choice is my mission.  And, we use the most reliable, time-tested scientific method: direct observation.  I have a doctorate — trust me!  Yes, my courteous and professional staff and I will study every pairing we describe.  Our solemn pledge to you is that you won’t be asked to taste anything we have not tried ourselves.

Even in a blog such as this, there are certain areas that we won’t address. Citrus fruits and most red wines cause what I like to call Acidic Armageddon. Likewise, the very sweetest and the most salty snack foods usually don’t pair with anything except a good beer and/or a soft drink.  So, you might find a few options missing.  When in doubt, ask yourself this question: could you SLEEP after consuming that combination of food and drink??

Okay, here’s a quick one to get started.  You have Woodbridge Merlot, one of the least expensive truly drinkable red wines, and a choice of Oreo cookies or Mission white corn tortilla strips.  Which snack do you choose?  Try it!

The answer is easy. Chocolate is the one universal junk food and wine pairing. The chocolate in the Oreo cookie actually improves the taste experience, and overwhelms the sugary white filling in the center. Conversely, the salt in the tortilla chips can’t help but to get in the way of the pairing, leaving the wine strangely outcast, like an accordion player at a Metallica concert. Try it for yourself– you can consume either combination, but the chocolate combination is clearly a better midnight pairing.

Now, you can see where we are headed with this blog. It’s a huge world of junk food out there, and a vast selection of wines. Where do we start?  Well, let’s just dive in and see where this exploration takes us!  I hope the Cloud has enough storage space for our research!